everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
