i barfeds in our rink
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
