yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
