I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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