The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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