he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
