Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
