Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
