I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
