I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
