If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
operation have a gay friend backfired
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need water and some morals
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
