I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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