I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my being single is dangerous.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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