By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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