Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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