There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
