Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
