everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I FOUND THE LEGS
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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