it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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