lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
