Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
