Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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