so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
