How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
