you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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