Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
foreskin is a definite game changer
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
