I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
