Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
