i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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