Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
