I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
