I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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