The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
