I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
