im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
