you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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