I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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