you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
