my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
