i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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