porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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