after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
