do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
