I'm lost and stupid without you.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
