i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
