dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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