PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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