I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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