Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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