actually, I'm a sock model
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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